Inside every 85 year old man is an 18 year old saying what the fuck just happened.

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 88349 Buy score: 9

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 9
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

Quitting cable news is like quitting smoking. After a year without you see how disgusting it real...

almost 7 years ago

Upvote: 87967 Buy score: 28

Top keywords:

• "i'll buy" : 16
• "i would pay" : 12
• "where can i get this" : 0

Growing up is realizing you get more joy out of seeing others open presents than you do from open...

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 87897 Buy score: 546

Top keywords:

• "i will pay" : 506
• "i'd buy" : 37
• "i'll buy" : 3

Being middle class is when spending $100 is expensive but earning $100 isn't a lot of money.

over 5 years ago

Upvote: 87087 Buy score: 7

Top keywords:

• "i'd pay for" : 3
• "i would buy" : 2
• "i'd buy" : 2

Airline passengers would probably pay more for priority deboarding than priority boarding

over 5 years ago

Upvote: 86853 Buy score: 16

Top keywords:

• "i would pay" : 14
• "i need it" : 1
• "i want this" : 1

If you don’t smoke pot because you’re afraid it’ll make you paranoid, you’re experiencing the sid...

about 4 years ago

Upvote: 86263 Buy score: 4

Top keywords:

• "take my money" : 2
• "i want it" : 2
• "where can i get this" : 0

The first time someone steals a spaceship and flies away is going to be epic.

about 7 years ago

Upvote: 85935 Buy score: 17

Top keywords:

• "i want this" : 13
• "i would pay" : 2
• "i want it" : 2

The first dent, scratch, or crack to an item is always devastating, but after that, the heavy bur...

over 4 years ago

Upvote: 85899 Buy score: 24

Top keywords:

• "i can buy it" : 15
• "i want it" : 9
• "where can i get this" : 0

Someone just decided blue ink pens were equally as acceptable as black and everyone just played a...

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 84435 Buy score: 5

Top keywords:

• "i want one" : 4
• "take my money" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

If you’re no longer covered by your parent’s health insurance, your manufacturer’s warranty is over.

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 84290 Buy score: 23

Top keywords:

• "i'm going to pay" : 21
• "i need it" : 2
• "where can i get this" : 0

if society collapsed, amazon warehouses will be fought over fiercely for being giant real-life lo...

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 84064 Buy score: 84

Top keywords:

• "i want this" : 84
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

Spider-Man almost certainly has auto-rotate turned off on his phone.

over 4 years ago

Upvote: 83890 Buy score: 41

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 34
• "i want it" : 7
• "where can i get this" : 0

Vanilla becoming the default flavour of ice cream is the greatest underdog story of all time.

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 83064 Buy score: 10

Top keywords:

• "i would buy" : 6
• "i want it" : 2
• "where can i get" : 2

You know you've made it when your couches aren't against a wall.

over 4 years ago

Upvote: 82837 Buy score: 37

Top keywords:

• "i want one" : 33
• "i need it" : 1
• "i want it" : 1

Everybody thought having a calculator on you at all times was gonna be a gamechanger but the real...

about 4 years ago

Upvote: 82122 Buy score: 8

Top keywords:

• "i would buy" : 3
• "i'll buy" : 3
• "i need it" : 1

Our parents warned us for years about the 'dangers' of the internet while knowing nothing about i...

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 82039 Buy score: 60

Top keywords:

• "can i buy it" : 35
• "i want it" : 23
• "i want this" : 2

Peer pressure as an adult is seeing your neighbor mow their lawn.

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 81879 Buy score: 7

Top keywords:

• "take my money" : 3
• "where do i get one" : 2
• "i want it" : 1

Grass is fucking weird. It's a living organism, & it's everywhere. There's so much of it, and it ...

over 5 years ago

Upvote: 81814 Buy score: 5

Top keywords:

• "where can i buy it" : 2
• "can i buy it" : 2
• "i want it" : 1

Babies don't know dreams aren't real, so they must think they have some crazy adventures with you...

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 81219 Buy score: 233

Top keywords:

• "i want this" : 233
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

If you think you ever fucked up bad, just remember somewhere an ant brought borax laced food to t...

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 80781 Buy score: 10

Top keywords:

• "i would buy" : 5
• "would buy one" : 5
• "where can i get this" : 0

Due to most people not having full blown professional kitchens, a cooking show that only uses bas...

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 80373 Buy score: 6

Top keywords:

• "i'd buy" : 5
• "i need it" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

If humans were ever to prove the theory that our universe is a simulation, it would simultaneousl...

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 80248 Buy score: 6

Top keywords:

• "i want one" : 5
• "where can i get" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

A lot less people would buy a lottery ticket if the rule was "pick a number between 1 and 300 mil...

over 4 years ago

Upvote: 80246 Buy score: 6

Top keywords:

• "i'll buy" : 4
• "i would buy" : 1
• "would buy one" : 1

People don’t really want to go back to a time when the world was simpler. They want to go back to...

over 5 years ago

Upvote: 80177 Buy score: 5

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 5
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

For being a high school in Europe, Hogwarts has a surprising lack of cigarettes.

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 80153 Buy score: 781

Top keywords:

• "i'd buy" : 780
• "i want it" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

Some stranger somewhere still remembers you because you were kind to them when no one else was.

about 4 years ago

Upvote: 80020 Buy score: 31

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 31
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

If women were the ones with the ballsack, there would be so many bogus scrotal beautification pro...

about 6 years ago

Upvote: 77821 Buy score: 24

Top keywords:

• "i would buy" : 11
• "i would pay" : 9
• "i want it" : 3

A 3 day break, you feel well rested. A 5+ day break, you forget how to be a productive member of ...

about 6 years ago

Upvote: 77755 Buy score: 64

Top keywords:

• "i will pay" : 48
• "i need it" : 16
• "where can i get this" : 0

You know you've reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the co...

almost 7 years ago

Upvote: 77556 Buy score: 19

Top keywords:

• "i want it" : 14
• "i need it" : 3
• "i'd buy" : 2

A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 77232 Buy score: 172

Top keywords:

• "where can i get one" : 86
• "where can i get" : 86
• "where can i get this" : 0

Apple treats you like a user, Android treats you like an admin.

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 76908 Buy score: 132

Top keywords:

• "take my money" : 85
• "i want it" : 36
• "where i could buy" : 7

Self checkouts are saving thousands of teenagers from the embarrassment of their first condom pur...

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 76747 Buy score: 7

Top keywords:

• "i want one" : 4
• "take my money" : 2
• "i'll buy" : 1

In video games the fatter the enemy, the more HP they have. In real life it's the opposite.

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 76708 Buy score: 4

Top keywords:

• "i want it" : 4
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

People who post pictures of restaurant menus on Yelp when you can't find them anywhere else are t...

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 76712 Buy score: 752

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 748
• "i will pay" : 4
• "where can i get this" : 0

There are probably a bunch of parents who think their children are fussy eaters, when in reality ...

about 6 years ago

Upvote: 76493 Buy score: 8

Top keywords:

• "i want it" : 7
• "i would pay" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

Considering how new $1000 phones are released every year with minor changes, it's a good thing ga...

about 4 years ago

Upvote: 76282 Buy score: 8

Top keywords:

• "i'll buy" : 6
• "i need it" : 1
• "price?" : 1

The rich used to pay peasants to entertain them and now the peasants pay the rich to entertain them.

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 75842 Buy score: 134

Top keywords:

• "i would buy" : 127
• "i need it" : 6
• "i'll buy" : 1

Being a pet owner is like being a sugar daddy. You waste all of your money on keeping them happy,...

about 6 years ago

Upvote: 75693 Buy score: 14

Top keywords:

• "how much?" : 14
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

If a sequel to a movie doesn’t have the screenwriters or directors of the first movie in it, it’s...

over 3 years ago

Upvote: 75674 Buy score: 4

Top keywords:

• "i would pay" : 2
• "where can i get this" : 1
• "where can i get" : 1

If we do colonize Mars, the reduced gravity will cause humans to be physically weaker, so we will...

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 75389 Buy score: 1479

Top keywords:

• "i'll buy" : 1477
• "how much?" : 2
• "where can i get this" : 0

If Apple manufactured clothing they'd probably have all the belt loops on their jeans a different...

over 7 years ago

Upvote: 75032 Buy score: 55

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 22
• "i'd buy" : 11
• "i'll buy" : 9

Girls are so used to compliments that insults stick out to them. Guys are so used to insults that...

about 5 years ago

Upvote: 74852 Buy score: 7

Top keywords:

• "i'll buy" : 6
• "i want it" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

If I see Google in a show/movie I think nothing of it, but if I see Bing, I know it's product pla...

over 7 years ago

Upvote: 74329 Buy score: 13

Top keywords:

• "where can i get" : 7
• "i'll buy" : 4
• "i want it" : 2

The fact that a blood red lunar eclipse is happening only a week after they opened that black sar...

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 74237 Buy score: 31

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 31
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

If you run at 11pm you are a night person. If you run at 5am you are a morning person. If you run...

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 74182 Buy score: 12

Top keywords:

• "i want it" : 12
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

Airports should have small movie theaters for layovers. They would make a killing.

almost 8 years ago

Upvote: 73618 Buy score: 55

Top keywords:

• "i would pay" : 27
• "i would buy" : 25
• "can i buy this" : 1

Our buttholes are watertight. We can go swimming, get water in our ears, nose, and mouth, our but...

over 3 years ago

Upvote: 73411 Buy score: 4

Top keywords:

• "i would pay" : 3
• "i want one" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

The number of guys that sit when they pee must have exploded when smartphones came out

about 4 years ago

Upvote: 73328 Buy score: 43

Top keywords:

• "i want one" : 39
• "i would buy" : 4
• "where can i get this" : 0

Having kids is like having little broke bestfriends that think you're rich

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 73235 Buy score: 10

Top keywords:

• "i want one" : 6
• "i want it" : 2
• "how much?" : 2

The only people forced to see anti-piracy warnings are the people who don't pirate movies.

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 73223 Buy score: 19

Top keywords:

• "i'd buy" : 14
• "i would buy" : 2
• "i will buy" : 2

I'm lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.

over 7 years ago

Upvote: 73070 Buy score: 12

Top keywords:

• "i'll buy" : 7
• "i'd buy" : 5
• "where can i get this" : 0

A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go and everyone will likel...

over 8 years ago

Upvote: 72952 Buy score: 7

Top keywords:

• "i would pay" : 6
• "i want it" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

With how many streaming services there are it won’t be long before someone bundles them all toget...

almost 6 years ago

Upvote: 72724 Buy score: 193

Top keywords:

• "i would pay" : 119
• "i will pay" : 59
• "price?" : 8

Rockstar has really proven with their popular games GTA V and Red Dead Redemption 2 that we have ...

about 6 years ago

Upvote: 72552 Buy score: 10

Top keywords:

• "i'd buy" : 6
• "i'd buy this" : 2
• "i would pay" : 1

A wireless charger restricts your phone much more than a wired one does.

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 71970 Buy score: 127

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 92
• "i'd buy" : 34
• "how much?" : 1

With Jeff Bezos having $116.8 billion and the average person having 100 billion brain cells, Jeff...

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 71717 Buy score: 4

Top keywords:

• "price?" : 3
• "i'd buy" : 1
• "where can i get this" : 0

Some parking spaces make more money in an hour than a worker on a minimum wage.

almost 5 years ago

Upvote: 71687 Buy score: 43

Top keywords:

• "i need it" : 39
• "do you sell" : 3
• "i'd buy" : 1

An underrated perk of being an adult is you no longer outgrow your clothes.

almost 7 years ago

Upvote: 71664 Buy score: 47

Top keywords:

• "i want this" : 34
• "i need it" : 5
• "i'll buy" : 3

Van Gogh inspired piece done by Kimi Vera @ Tattoo 1825 Amsterdam.

about 5 years ago

Upvote: 12363 Buy score: 62

Top keywords:

• "i want this" : 62
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0

My party tattoo done by Zina at Anchored Ink in Eugene, Oregon.

over 6 years ago

Upvote: 12132 Buy score: 22

Top keywords:

• "on a shirt" : 22
• "where can i get this" : 0
• "where could i get one" : 0